Good Grief: Day 18 “My Expectation is From Him”

My Expectation is From Him

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him”
-Psalm 62:5

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.”
-Psalm 139:23-24

I was sitting down in my pew listening to a man speak at a church event one night, inwardly  struggling to apply his words to my life. As I sat there reflecting, I lifted up this conclusion to the Lord, “This year has been one of great disappointment.” No sooner had that prayer escaped my mind did the man speaking at the event start to prophesy over a woman in the crowd. I don’t remember what his encouragement was verbatim, but it was something to the effect that God didn’t see the events that happened in her life the same way she saw them. And immediately, I felt the correction from the Lord say, “I don’t see this year the same way you do, Samantha.”  Big alligator tears started rolling steadily down my face. I sat back and just received the rest of that prophetic word like it was my own – believing God was trying to show me something. I’ve heard it said that God can never be disappointed in us, for in order for disappointment to occur, false expectation must occur also. And, it is impossible for God to ever have false expectations of you because He knows you intricately. This should be the same for us in how we relate to God.  We should know God so well and have such deep connection with Him that when traumatic things happen or when our attempts at attaining dreams fall flat, we turn our hearts toward Him in tenderness instead of giving Him the cold shoulder out of hurt and anger. If we stopped and allowed the Holy Spirit to search and know us, He would show us if our expectation came from a place of love and relationship with God, or if it came out of our own selfish ambition. If I had stopped and allowed this to happen in my own life, I would have spared myself many bitter tears and angry prayers toward God. Spend some time with your Father today. Invest in knowing Him more deeply and allow Him to speak His expectation over you. Don’t worry this takes time. All relationships do.

 

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