Good Grief: Day Four “Lean On The Rock”

Lean On The Rock

From the end of the earth I will cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
               -Psalm 61:2

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30

There is something truly relieving in the admission that you can’t hold it together anymore. One day you realize you can’t keep up the constant pouring out that you had once maintained, because you are overwhelmed by the emotions that billow over you like waves. I am a performance driven person. If my output doesn’t reach my standard of expectation, I usually beat myself up over it. But one day while I was reflecting on how crummy I felt, I heard a gentle whisper that I did not expect.  It said, “Samantha, it’s ok.” It’s ok if you don’t feel motivated to get up early in the mornings. It’s ok that you aren’t meeting with people or blogging about important topics. It’s ok if you aren’t writing songs or involved in a social justice movement. It is O.K. Upon hearing this, I was skeptical. Could the Holy Spirit truly be leading me to think it was ok to do less right now?  Even when I said it out loud to my family and friends, I felt an internal cringe at the sound of me admitting that doing less is ok. But when I finally gave in to the leading of Jesus and started to forgive myself for not performing at my highest capacity, it made room for me to be myself for the first time. It also left me without my usual repertoire of qualifications that I leaned upon, so all I could lean upon was Jesus. And this-THIS- is something I had to work on. Leaning on God instead of myself is hard, but I am learning how to have a true dependency on Him for the first time. I now know what it means to be lead to the Rock. Let Him lead you to that place today, where you learn that His way is so much better than how you would do things on your own.

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